In Uganda, like many parts of the world, the journey toward acceptance, dignity, and understanding is an ongoing battle. Today, as we commemorate  International Pronouns Day, it’s essential to reflect on one simple, yet incredibly powerful tool in the fight for dignity and respect: pronouns.

Words shape the world around us. And sometimes, it’s the smallest words that carry the heaviest weight. Pronouns are those everyday markers of identity that may seem less important to some, but to others, they are the gateway to recognition, dignity, and respect.

When you think of pronouns, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? For many of us, pronouns are deeply personal; they shape how we see ourselves and how the world sees us. Yet, I have lost count of how many times I have been misgendered. Despite gentle corrections, the same people continued to dismiss my identity. It’s more than frustrating, it’s a painful erasure of who I am. Now, place yourself in my shoes, or in the shoes of any transgender or gender-diverse person who has had their identity invalidated. How would you feel?

Kindness costs nothing, but its absence is deeply felt. In 2024, ignorance is no longer an excuse. We live in a world where information is at our fingertips, and where conversations about gender identity are growing louder and more visible. Asking someone what pronouns they use is an act of care, of humanity. It is not a burden, but an opportunity to show respect. We need to shift from habitual assumptions to conscious respect. Let’s be mindful of our words because words matter.

So, how can we create a world where everyone feels seen and respected? It starts with a simple question: “What are your pronouns?” Asking someone for their pronouns is an act of kindness, respect, and acknowledgment of their identity. It’s a small gesture that can make a huge difference in someone’s day, especially for transgender and gender-diverse people, who already navigate a world filled with challenges.

Imagine a workplace, a school, or a community gathering where it’s a regular practice to ask for and respect pronouns. Instead of making assumptions based on someone’s appearance, we can shift our thinking to recognize the diversity in gender identities. Statements like “ladies and gentlemen” belong to a bygone era one that fails to account for the lived experiences of non-binary, transgender, and gender-diverse people. We are not all the same, and we don’t need to be for society to function with compassion and respect.

And yes, mistakes happen. We all slip up. But if you accidentally misgender someone, acknowledge it. Apologize, and correct yourself. A simple, genuine apology can go a long way in showing respect and care. If you’re unsure of someone’s pronouns, there’s a simple solution: use their name. For example, “Nana, what pronouns do you use?” Or, “Nana mentioned…” This ensures that you’re not making assumptions about their identity.

It’s important to remember that gender expression doesn’t always match the pronouns someone uses. Just because I may present in a certain way, it doesn’t give you the right to prescribe pronouns based on your perception. Ask. Don’t assume. And if I ask you to use he/him or they/them, even if I appear feminine to you, your only role is to honor my request. Respect is the bare minimum we owe each other.

The time for theorizing is over. It’s time to put our understanding into practice and create environments where everyone no matter their gender identity or sexual orientation can feel safe, respected, and affirmed. Asking for someone’s pronouns takes little effort, but its impact can be transformative. You don’t need a degree or a PhD in gender studies, it’s simply about practicing Ubuntu, our shared humanity.

We live in a society plagued by systems of oppression and outdated norms that diminish our collective humanity. It’s time to dismantle those systems. We must unlearn harmful behaviors and embrace the fullness of who people are, without imposing outdated expectations. It’s not just about “being politically correct” it’s about being human.

So, what are you doing today? Whether you’re unlearning harmful patterns, educating yourself on pronouns, or simply starting a conversation over a meal, every effort counts. Even the smallest actions, like encouraging others to share their pronouns during introductions or placing pronouns on name tags, are steps toward dismantling oppressive systems.  We all have the power to contribute to a world where people feel seen, respected, and valued for who they are.

For transgender and gender-diverse people, life is already filled with countless obstacles discrimination, violence, and erasure. Let’s not add misgendering to the heavy burden we carry. To my transgender and gender-diverse siblings this fight isn’t over, But here’s the truth we will not be erased.

And today, on International Pronouns Day, I stand strong saying: we are here, and we will not be silenced or erased. We are more than your assumptions. And we demand the respect we are owed.

On this International Pronouns Day, let’s commit to making pronouns respect the norm. Let’s create a world where all people, regardless of their gender identity, are treated with the respect and dignity they deserve starting with something as simple as asking, “What are your pronouns?”

We are not asking for anything radical — just the simple, human decency of being seen for who we are.

Author:
Nana Millers
Executive Director, Trans Youth Initiative – Uganda

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